Remember the days when we were kings and queens. Let’s retain our royalty, dignity, and cultural integrity to invest in our communitiy’s future success.
- Listen more than you speak. Resist urges to interrupt or respond with blunt facts, brilliantly sharp wit or sarcasm.
- Let him/her go. In more extreme circumstances, things can get heated. If s/he has to leave a situation when it gets to be too much, let him/her leave. By checking out, s/he is getting some space to think things through. Honor this need for space. S/he probably needs it and will be in a better position to talk later. Note: This works both ways and both of you should give each other the same consideration, but this should be an exceptionally occurence, not a regular coping mechanism.
- Seek wisdom. Whether it is from a family member, friend, or counselor: find someone WHO DOESN’T TAKE SIDES for advice and support when things get tough. This person may act as a helpful mediator, if needed.
“African American Matchmaker, Angela D. Coleman, is beautiful and she makes sure her ladies are, too. I am very pleased with the caliber of women in African American Matchmaking’s national registry.” African American Matchmaking Member
“I talked with my match for the first time last night and you were absolutely right. She is awesome and I look forward to talking to her some more. Thanks a lot! I will be in touch to let you know how things are going, but I have a really good feeling that things are going to go well.” African American Matchmaking Member
“For me, it’s taking a leap of faith to do matchmaking, but so far, it’s working really well! It’s something different, so I was apprehensive at first, and I had to give up the control a bit. But now that I am getting to know my match, I can see how this approach works. It’s like a blind date, but not really. Angela did the screening and reviewing for me, so there is already compatibility there. This saves me a lot of time and aggravation. My match is a really good guy. We meet and cultivate our relationship in a very unique and meaningful way. This approach definitely made sense for me.” African American Matchmaking Member
“African American Matchmaking members: the women are gorgeous! They are sexy AND successful. I wish I had known about African American Matchmaking sooner.” African American Matchmaking Member
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Why do some relationships fail and others succeed? These are the Top 5 Relationship Pitfalls to Avoid:
- Unreasonable expectations. Our heads are often filled with romantic notions of fantasy love and not reality. Be reasonable, knowing that real relationships are not perfect all of the time, but can be excellent and really good most of the time.
- Lack of self-awareness. By increasing knowledge of self, you become clear about what you want in your partner. Your standards, creative vision, deal-breakers, and dating behavior all demonstrate this awareness.
- Letting yourself be chosen instead of choosing. Take back the power and control of your life, including your love life. Don’t wait to be chosen or feel obligated when someone chooses you. Empower yourself with the idea of finding and choosing your mate.
- Sex too soon. If you want more than sex, go deeper mentally and wait longer. When you think in terms of long-term commitment, you want to see if he is right for you. The sense of urgency during this process may even go away.
- Thinking that you don’t have many choices. Do not buy into the nonsense that the media projects about single Black women being unattractive, unable to get married, bitter, crazy and destined to be lonely the rest of our lives. Or those stereotypes about unemployed, uneducated Black men with felony records and mutliple “baby mamas” on the down low. These “facts” simply aren’t true for everyone in our community. By believing this nonsense, you will resolve yourself to the single life or stay with someone who doesn’t live up to your standards because you are afraid that you won’t find anything better.