Why do some relationships fail and others succeed? These are the Top 5 Relationship Pitfalls to Avoid:
- Unreasonable expectations. Our heads are often filled with romantic notions of fantasy love and not reality. Be reasonable, knowing that real relationships are not perfect all of the time, but can be excellent and really good most of the time.
- Lack of self-awareness. By increasing knowledge of self, you become clear about what you want in your partner. Your standards, creative vision, deal-breakers, and dating behavior all demonstrate this awareness.
- Letting yourself be chosen instead of choosing. Take back the power and control of your life, including your love life. Don’t wait to be chosen or feel obligated when someone chooses you. Empower yourself with the idea of finding and choosing your mate.
- Sex too soon. If you want more than sex, go deeper mentally and wait longer. When you think in terms of long-term commitment, you want to see if he is right for you. The sense of urgency during this process may even go away.
- Thinking that you don’t have many choices. Do not buy into the nonsense that the media projects about single Black women being unattractive, unable to get married, bitter, crazy and destined to be lonely the rest of our lives. Or those stereotypes about unemployed, uneducated Black men with felony records and mutliple “baby mamas” on the down low. These “facts” simply aren’t true for everyone in our community. By believing this nonsense, you will resolve yourself to the single life or stay with someone who doesn’t live up to your standards because you are afraid that you won’t find anything better.