Pet Peeves

Loving Bad Partner

Whether it’s your first date or the two of you have been together for awhile, make sure you don’t do any of these activities, which some of our African American Matchmaking members have listed as their pet peeves–extremely annoying and irritating behavior that they can’t stand:

  • Smoking
  • Bad breath
  • Arrogance
  • Inappropriate dress
  • Nail-biting
  • Being mean
  • Being rude
  • Long fingernails
  • Using words when you don’t know what they mean
  • Trying to finish my story for me or guess what I am trying to say
  • Bad odor/poor hygiene
  • Lack of confidence
  • Lack of grooming/looking sloppy
  • Using poor grammar
  • Not doing what you say you are going to do
  • Not listening
  • Heavy drinking
  • Poor table manners

10 Ways to Become a Better Listener

Couple in Bed

According to Forbes author Michelle Crawley, marketers could use her ten tips to be better marketers.  In the same way, when dating and loving another person, we could do it better if we listen more carefully:

  1. Stop talking. If you want to hear what someone has to say, you have to be silent.
  2. Block out the distractions and really concentrate on what the other person is telling you. Don’t let your mind wander.
  3. Fine-tune your senses. You can glean a lot of information from tone, delivery, body language and surroundings.
  4. Maintain eye contact.
  5. Really hear what the person is saying, instead of thinking ahead about how you are going to respond or about how you’ve had a similar experience. It’s not about you.
  6. Instead of taking notes, just listen—carefully.
  7. Repeat back some of the points you are hearing to verify and clarify.
  8. Ask open-ended questions because these elicit a more descriptive response.
  9. Give cues—both visual and auditory—that you are following what the other person is saying.
  10. Don’t be afraid to follow up when necessary.