While both men and women can be desperate daters, Charyn Gant and Dahmenah M., give specific advice to women in their book, The Game Changers: How To Date Men in the 21st Century. They state:
It could be that Desperate Dating behaviors are creating your loss of POWER. Let’s talk about the word desperate. Definition of “desperate”:
- Reckless or dangerous because of despair or urgency.
- Having an urgent need, desire, etc.
- Extreme or excessive.
- Having no hope; giving into despair.
1. Given a man your body without truly knowing who he was as a person?
2. Ever let a man you really don’t know, who has never taken you out on a date; constantly come over to your home to have sex, then leave?
3. Dated a man that cannot commit to you because he’s committed to another?
4. Dated a man that cannot take care of himself so you take care of him?
5. Dated or continue to date a man that was/ is physically, mentally and emotionally abusive to you?
6. Continually dated a man that you have caught in several lies because you believe you really like/ love him?
7. Have you ever been afraid to tell a man what you are looking for in a partner/ mate/ lover/ husband?
8. Chosen a man out of desperation or fear of being alone?
9. Rationalized away or made excuses for his negative behaviors instead of trusting your instincts?
10. Chased men instead of allowing a man to chase or court you?
If you answered “Yes” to 3 or more questions, you ARE a “Desperate Dater.” The reason why it’s necessary for you to find out if you are a “Desperate Dater” is because with self-awareness comes change and with change comes a better life.
Remember: men can answer these questions and be desperate daters, too! And nobody, male or female, likes a date someone who is desperate. Remind yourself of Earth’s abundance and keep faith in Black love.
Source: Gant, Charyn ; M., Dahmenah (2012-03-26). The Game Changers: How To Date Men in the 21st Century.