Having Standards

Couple at Lake

“Male or female, it’s hard to respect someone who has no standards. A standard is a level of quality. This level of quality can be socially defined or defined by you. Having standards means that you respect yourself enough to reject what is simply NOT GOOD ENOUGH. Having standards helps us be selective and make better choices.”  From Black Girls Guide:  How to Find & Choose the Right Man

What You Can Do:

  • Create your own standards. What are they?
  • Be what you seek in your significant other to ensure that your standards are reasonable.
  • Learn to be consistent with your standards to achieve maximum results when dating.
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4 thoughts on “Having Standards

    • Hi, if NO ONE can meet your standards, then your standards are unrealistic and unattainable. Are you meeting your own standards? If so, you might be very exceptional.

      Rather than looking at your standards as being high or low, let’s look at what they are. Are they appropriate? Your standards are the level of quality that you require to have a satisfying relationship. A potential mate should be able to meet this defined level of quality. Your standards should be reasonable and consistent. If your standards are “perfectly acceptable,” then someone should be able to meet them. If not, you have to power to change your standards, redefine them and make your standards work for you.

      Remember that we tend to idealize and romanticize what we are looking for in a partner—bring it down to reality so that you can be happy with someone who is not perfect.

      • Hhmm….easier said than done.

        I plan on sticking to my “standards” and am making peace with the fact that I might be alone because of them. Oh well, what else can I do? I’m SOMEWHAT willing to compromise, but lowering them to me is not an option

      • If your standards are reasonable, you will not be alone. While we all like some time alone, being alone is not our natural state. Let’s work on your “somewhat” willingness to “compromise.” What does compromise mean to you? Compromise within a relationship context means you get some of what you want, but not everything. Plus, your partner gets some of what he wants, but not everything. Compromising is very different and distinct from settling…

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