Five Ways to Heal

 

Health, healing, and happiness, currently a global trend, is a personal commitment to yourself and your community. No matter you’re your age, we could all benefit. Healing is necessary for positive relationships.  With our collective history of family separation, enslavement, and disenfranchisement, we are at risk. Whether we know it or not, many of us need to heal from trauma first before we make a long-term, loving commitment to another.

Trauma is a response to a deeply distressing or disturbing experience.  By the time we become adults, many of us have experienced multiple traumatic events. When an outside threat is too much to manage, it can affect many areas of our lives.

Trauma is unique to each individual.  The type of psychological distress and unhealthy coping behavior can vary. Trauma can be caused by several things happening in our lives related to:  family, finances, health, relationships, natural disasters, and other activities, especially those that we feel we can’t control.

Youth are particularly vulnerable to trauma. Adolescence is a time of significant physical and psychological changes, and changing dynamics in family and peer relationships. These changes can have major effects. Trauma can affect physical heath.  For example, unresolved trauma as a child can make you sick as an adult.

We can improve our lives by healing. Healing helps you to release the trauma and move on in a positive way. Five easy ways to incorporate healing:

  • Spend more time with people who make you feel optimistic
  • Use the ocean to cleanse and restore yourself
  • Seek help in a supportive environment
  • Choose natural foods that nourish both your spirit and your body
  • Move your body through dance, exercise, and walking

 

 

 

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Emotional Connection: Which Level Are You?

black-couple-bed People often confuse loneliness with isolation. When pressed, most people struggle with the difference. There are three levels of isolation. They are:

  1. People are physically separated or have minimal contact with others.
  2. People interact on a more personal level i.e. the workplace. There is a familiarity, maybe even some affection, and a common goal they share. This is also experienced in social groups, and community activities.
  3. There is real bonding and a connectedness that expresses deep love and commitment. That sense of acceptance is what all of us need as young children in order to feel whole. Most of us, however, missed that critical piece from our parents when we were young children and spend a life time yearning for it without identifying it.

Source:  Your Tango

Marry 3 People

Marriage 3 people'

You don’t marry one person,  you marry three:
1) the person you think they are
2) the person they are, and
3) the person they are going to become as a result of being married to you

Anita Baker on Dating

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She may be in her 50’s and divorced, but Anita Baker still gets out to meet new single men.

The singer is among those in the American population waiting for the right companion. But she’s not the conventional type who tries to force a spark or fish for chemistry. She says it’s got to be organic.

“I meet a lot of people and you exchange energy and somebody may call you and you call someone and you develop a relationship out of a relationship, out of a friendship or a peer group,” she shares

“And then you end up having a cocktail sometime, or having a cup of coffee, and that turns into, ‘Well, call me later, ‘ ‘Well, OK, yeah, I’ll call you too!’ There is no dating. It’s very organic. And I love that. You know, nobody’s like, ‘I gotta get a date. It’s Saturday.’”

Being single isn’t far from heaven, the singer explained.

“My sons are out of the nest, you know, both of them, come September,” she states. “I’m traveling more, I’m meeting new people. I’m finding that in this stage of my life, a love life is richer. In my perspective, the people that I’m meeting, it’s not so anxious. It’s not so immediate. It’s just very relaxed.”

Anita’s eighth album, “Only Forever,” will be out soon.

Reposted from EURweb.

Why Some Men Fear A “Church” Woman

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There’s a certain stigma attached to what I call a “churchy” woman. In other words, we’d call this person an over the top fanatic. The stigma is that a churchy woman isn’t fun. That she is uptight. She could possibly be bitter. Lastly a guy might also think that he couldn’t ever get any buns with you while dating. That’s a real concern for many.  All of the above could absolutely be untrue.  In  fact, Dr. J touched on a similar subject here. You could be a woman that’s into everything equally. You just have to show that.

Men are very lighthearted people.

We dream of a woman we can just be easy with. It’s why we dream of the impossible woman that’ll never stress us. Since we know we can’t have that we look for the lady who stresses us the least. In turn that woman should be who we have the most fun with. Now there may be men reading this who say “I need me a God-fearing woman!” I’m not saying that there’s anything wrong with that. Whoever we decide to share our lives with needs to be in sync with our beliefs. I will say that if you want your girl solely preaching all the time then you’re in the minority. If you want a woman who doesn’t like to have fun you’re in the minority.

I’m just looking to help. If there are any single religious ladies reading this, know that I want you to be encouraged. If you’re heavy in church and what not it’s fine. Ease us into that side of you. You have got to snag us with your personality. You have to exemplify balance. To the ladies who are religious but don’t bombard someone with your beliefs initially, you’re appreciated. In fact, I would like to know your levels of success in dating. Because in a guy’s mind, if all your Instagram posts are Bible verses, then he’ll likely think that’s all you have to talk about.

If  your statuses harken that you need no man then it’ll turn us off. That’s the last thing we want ladies. We have got to see some balance in who you are. Balance in your interests. Guys may take your expression of spirituality the wrong way. It could come off as if you don’t want to find that happiness with someone. Guys hate feeling not needed. It’s a substantial reason why a man may have reservations for a “church woman. There’s no need to ever change your faith. There’s no need  for a guy to influence how you praise or anything. But upon meeting someone, I believe easing someone into who you are in that realm would do you more good than harm.

To my fellas, do you agree with my sentiment? Are there any ladies who think they’ve scared men off this way? Well let’s get into it.

Reblogged from www.singleblackmale.org, SOURCE

Related Article: Why Men Don’t Go to Church

The Role of Money in Your Relationship

Couple counting money

Your feelings about money are relevant when you look at compatibility factors with a potential mate.  Your opinions about money are just as important as your opinions about children and sex.  Specifically, you might want to know these answers about yourself and the man or woman you are interested in:

  • How much money is enough for you?
  • What are your goals regarding income, financial success, and retirement?
  • How much do you like to spend?  How much do you like to save?
  • How important is money to you and why?
  • What is your lifestyle now and what vision do you have for lifestyle in the future?

Love Indulgence in Atlanta

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If you are looking for something new, then come share an evening with poets, singers, musicians, and indulge in something different…

If you love Poetry, Spoken Word, R&B and live instruments, then you would want to be here on March 8th, 2014. Your ticket will include food with Butler Style Catering, two complimentary drinks, a spoken word show with a live band playing soulful music, raffle prizes, free parking, a kissing booth, networking, and dancing.

Date: March 8th, 2014
Time: Doors Open at 7pm est. Show begins at 8:20p.
Location: 1710 Defoor Avenue, Atlanta.

Performers are: Karee, JaeSun the Apostle, Noel, Mimosa, Tina ATL, & Simon Stone, Butter B Rocka, Kim Joyce, Poet

Hosted by: Extremity and Berry B

Music provided by: DJ Motor City, Angelo, & CJ Baker Band

Raffles: Gift Baskets and Gift Certificates.

This is a Purple Carpet Photography event so come sharp and on your square. Please rsvp ASAP so they can order the appropriate amount of food and drinks.

This event will be filmed.  Partial proceeds will be donated to the American Heart Association.  For tickets: http://www.eventbrite.com/e/love-indulgence-tickets-9775118643.  For more info contact Extremity at: 404.403.2726 or JaeQwon at: 770.557.4245.