Trustworthiness

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Trustworthiness is being worthy of trust.  People can count on you to do your best, to keep your word, and to follow through on your commitments.  You do what you say you will do.  Trustworthiness is a key to success in anything you do.

You are practicing trustworthiness when you …

* Think before you  make a promise to be sure you can do it.

*  Take responsibility for remembering your commitments.

*  Keep your promises even when they become hard to do.

*  Abide by the rules even when no one is watching.

*  Let nothing stop you from keeping your word.

*  Do your best and finish what you start.

Affirmation:  I am trustworthy.  I keep my word.  I am worthy of the trust others place in me.

Source:  The Virtues Project and The Family Connection, U.S. Virgin Islands

We Need More Love in Our Communities: 10 Reasons

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  1. Love helps us heal.
  2. Love relieves stress.
  3. Love lowers your blood pressure.
  4. Love helps you be more giving to others.
  5. Giving love helps you receive love.
  6. Love boosts immunity to disease.
  7. Love cures love deprivation.
  8. Love boosts confidence and self-esteem.
  9. Love increases quality of life.
  10. Love helps you live longer.

Add your own reasons with your comments below:

Overcoming Daddy’s Dysfunction: 7 Tips

Daddy

Many of us have fathers who were simply not there in our lives.  We grew up with them physically outside of the home and/or mentally and emotionally unavailable.  This void has affected the way we respond to the opposite sex in our adult romantic relationships.

As adults, we have to let go and move on, recognizing our loss but not dwelling on it.  Specifically, here is what you can do:

  1. Know that you are not alone.
  2. See lack of fatherhood experiences are part of a systematic problem in American society, not just a problem in your family.  Your father was probably parented the same way.
  3. Recognize the way that slavery experiences affected the functioning (or lack of) of Black family units.
  4. Understand that our parents are imperfect human beings who often did the best that they can under stressful circumstances.
  5. Know what your needs are due to your experience of fatherlessness.  Are they reasonable?  Can you find what you need?
  6.  Be specific about your needs when you visualize your ideal partner, a man or woman who can naturally and effortlessly fulfill them.
  7. If your issues are still unresolved, find support.  If needed, seek professional help from a counselor or therapist.

The Art of Kissing: 5 Tips

Is kissing a lost art?  Common in the courtship phase of dating, kissing helps you bond with your mate and has long been seen as a warm-up activity for sexual intercourse.  Women enjoy kissing more than men, right?

Not true! Researchers from The Kinsey Institute in Bloomington, Indiana were surprised to find that kissing, cuddling and caressing are more important to men than they are to women.

A good relationship is the best foundation for a good kiss. Sharing personal space, physical closeness, connection…   Good kissing can make it happen for both of you.

5 Tips on What to Do:

1. Have loving feelings toward the person you kiss. 
Hint:  if you don’t have loving feelings, don’t kiss!

2. Have fresh breath. 
Hint:  brush your teeth, use mouthwash, use breath mints, chew peppermint or spearmint gum.

3. Make sure your lips are soft.
Hint:  licking your lips does not make them soft.  Use a lip moisterizer.

4. Relax your lips as your lips prepare to meet his/hers. 
Hint:  lips should be parted slightly, not open.

5. Let your lips touch softly to meet your partner’s lips, gently at first, then take it from there.
Hint:  Pay attention to what your partner responds to and keep it hot!

How Being Picky Can Leave You Lonely

Some of us are so particular (yes, picky!) about whom we date and spend quality time with. Of course, we should be.  No one should settle. But when is being picky just too much?

When being picky interferes with our ability to find dates and committed, long-lasting partners, it can lead to frustration, loneliness and resentment.  Maybe we have to re-examine our priorities by asking ourselves, “Are you setting yourself up to be lonely by having impossibly perfect standards for your dream partner?”

Psychologist Jeremy S. Nicholson believes:

“Put simply, trying to find the absolute ‘best’ in love is an impossible task. There are simply too many people. No matter how much information and experience you obtain, there will always be somebody ‘better’ on some level out there. So, people spend their lives looking for that perfect someone, never find them…”

We know that no one is perfect, not even you! Instead of trying to find a perfect partner, maybe you can focus on finding a satisfying partner who is PERFECT FOR YOU.

A matchmaker can help.  Why Use a Matchmaker?  5 Good Reasons

I Want to Know What Love Is

I Want To Know What Love Is

                     Foreigner                      

Songwriters: PARKS, ALEX / TZUKE, JUDIE / KEARNS, GRAHAM PATRICK

I gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when I’m older
Aaaah woah-ah-aah

Now this mountain I must climb
Feels like a world upon my shoulders
And through the clouds I see love shine
It keeps me warm as life grows colder

In my life there’s been heartache and pain
I don’t know if I can face it again
Can’t stop now, I’ve traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
Aaaah woah-oh-ooh

I’m gonna take a little time
A little time to look around me, oooh ooh-ooh ooh-ooh oooh
I’ve got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me

In my life there’s been heartache and pain
I don’t know if I can face it again
I can’t stop now, I’ve traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
And I wanna feel, I want to feel what love is
And I know, I know you can show me

Let’s talk about love
(I wanna know what love is) the love that you feel inside
(I want you to show me) I’m feeling so much love
(I wanna feel what love is) no, you just cannot hide
(I know you can show me) yeah, woah-oh-ooh
I wanna know what love is, let’s talk about love
(I want you to show me) I wanna feel it too
(I wanna feel what love is) I wanna feel it too
And I know, and I know, I know you can show me
Show me what is real, woah (woah), yeah I know
(I wanna know what love is) hey I wanna know what love
(I want you to show me), I wanna know, I wanna know, want know
(I wanna feel what love is), hey I wanna feel, love
I know you can show me, yeah

A Satisfying Partner

Are you still looking for that perfect someone?  What makes a partner “satisfying” vs. “perfect?”

Psychologist Jeremy S. Nicholson believes:

“Having a satisfying relationship doesn’t require finding the perfect partner. All it takes is using the right strategy to choose a good one. That starts with deciding on the few, specific things that you really need a partner to possess. Look for those features and be happy with the first person who has them all. Don’t become a perfectionist looking for better. Don’t worry about what your friends have. Just enjoy the fact that you have somebody who has what you need to be satisfied – and ignore the rest.”

Source:  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201209/maximize-your-chances-picking-satisfying-partner

Why Use a Matchmaker? 5 Good Reasons


Matchmaking is a fairly new phenomenon for a lot of people.
Thinking about using one?  Here are 5 good reasons:

    1. Matchmakers provide personal services that other agencies, including online dating sites, cannot.  They get to know you as a person and are working for your interests.  That is why matchmakers typically only have a small number of clients.

    1. Matchmakers provide great advice as they help you find a match.  They assist you in finding and choosing among available options, plus provide helpful information about dating and managing your relationship.  In fact, your matchmaker may become your best friend!

    1. Matchmakers are affordable.  Matchmaking used to occur only within wealthy families.  Now, the benefits of matchmaking are more accessible to those of us who are willing to invest a relatively small amount.

    1. Matchmakers are open-minded. Unlike your family or friends, they don’t judge you, your preferences or your lifestyle.  They are just looking for someone who is right for you.

    1. Matchmakers are professional.  They make a living find love for people.  Your success is their success.  It is a win-win situation for all!

Test Your Love Awareness: Quiz

We know that you are complex and this is a simple quiz.  Answer each question honestly and to the best of your ability.

  1. I am willing to invest this much TIME to develop a new relationship:

A)    0-5 hours per week
B)    6-10 hours per week
C)    10-20 hours per week
D)    As many hours as it takes!

  1. When it comes to changing my PHYSICAL APPEARANCE to make myself a more attractive match, (for example, your hair, clothes, weight):

A)    I don’t think that I should have to change anything.
B)    I am not very open.
C)    I am open to changing, but not too much.
D)    Whatever works best, I am willing to try.

  1. I am willing to spend this much MONEY to find my dream match:

A)    No more than $100
B)    $100-500
C)    $600-1,000
D)    As much as it takes!

  1. When meeting a potential partner for the FIRST time, I am:

A)    Not comfortable at all.
B)    Slightly uncomfortable
C)    Comfortable.
D)    Extremely comfortable.

  1. When it comes to COMMITMENT in a long-term, exclusive relationship, I am:

A)    Definitely not ready.
B)    Almost ready.
C)    Ready.
D)    Very ready.

SCORE Your Answers:

Give yourself one point for each A answer.
Give yourself two points for each B answer.
Give yourself three points for each C answer.
Give yourself four points for each D answer.

Add your total and see the RESULTS!

Maya Angelou’s Love Wisdom

Maya Angelou says:

“If we lose love and self respect for each other, this is how we finally die.”

“If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.”

“My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.”

Five Myths About Black Love-Exposed!

MYTH #1:  Black people don’t get married. 

This is silly.  Of course we get married!  Statistically, men and women are waiting longer to get married, if they marry at all.  Marriage rates are going down across all races.  Read more about more Black marriage myths.

MYTH #2:  Black women want to be in charge of everything all of the time.

Does anybody do “everything” “all of the time?”  It’s true that some Black women are used to being self-reliant, but this is usually not a personal choice.  Given the option, most Black women would welcome a partner’s help with shared interests and responsibilities.

MYTH #3:  Black men prefer a woman of another race more often than a Black woman.

Most men prefer a woman who looks like his mother and most people prefer to date within their ethnic group.  This is true across races.  Just because there are a few high-profile interracial couples does not make it a rule-it is still an exception.

MYTH #4:  Black women come with a lot of baggage.

Most people come with “some assembly required.”  Generally, the older the person, the more baggage, but only if they do not LET GO of their past.  Our unique historical trauma can unite  African American men and women, rather than divide us.

MYTH #5:  Black men don’t commit.

Black men are no different from most men:  if a woman doesn’t require a  commitment, they are less likely to commit.  There are plenty of African American men who would love to be in a committed, monogamous relationship, but he has to believe that the woman he chooses is the right one.

Emotional Honesty

“One of the things that attracted me to Barack,” First Lady Michelle Obama says, “was his emotional honesty. Right off the bat, he said what he felt. There are no games with him—he is who he appears to be.”

Top 7 Reasons Why You Should Be in a Relationship

  • Satisfying relationships increase your personal success.
  • Satisfying relationships help you stay healthier and live longer.
  • You have someone to talk to and share with.
  • You have someone to go out with.
  • Kissing and cuddling.
  • Cost-sharing and financial help.
  • Sex!

Ten Ways to Increase Your Love Awareness

  1. THINK LOVE.   All the time!  Be willing to open your heart to love in its most purest form.  Watch love stories. Prayers, chants and meditations may be helpful.
  2. DATE. Whether you are single or with someone, have a date night at least once each week to get to know someone better.
  3. RELAX.   Know that your most natural state is a loving state.  Do the things that help you relax.
  4. GIVE AFFECTION.  Be consistent with your affection toward yourself and others.  Examples include massage, kisses, hugs, sensual touching and positive thoughts.
  5. HEAL.  If you or someone you know is sick or not feeling well, make a point to nurture yourself, him or her to soothe and comfort them during a difficult time.
  6. COMMIT.  Dedicate yourself to something or someone, whether it is a friend, a child (think, mentor), a houseplant, a pet, or a lifestyle.
  7. BE COURTEOUS.  Remember to always say “please” and “thank  you.”
  8. EMPATHIZE.  When you put yourself in someone else’s shoes, you realize how complex we can be.  Don’t judge too quickly.
  9. RETREAT.  Spending time in solitude away from negativity and distractions can help you focus on what is most important to you in  your life.
  10. BE OPEN-MINDED.  You never know who your most loving partner will be.  They may come to you in the most unexpected way!

Did you take the Love Awareness Quiz?

Matchmaking Process

Interested in African American Matchmaking?  If you want to meet your match, registration is free:  Get Started!

If we believe we can find a match for you, African American Matchmaking will contact you to apply for membership.  African American Matchmaking has a one-time application fee.  You will then be asked a series of questions during the application and interview process, followed by a background check.  This allows us to get to know you better and more accurately access your partnership needs.

All applications are subject to approval.  Your application will only be approved if we believe we can match you with a truly loving partner.  The review process is usually less than one week, but may take up to several weeks.

Once approved, there is a nominal weekly fee for comprehensive matchmaking services.  Read more about matchmaking services.

Please note:  African American Matchmaking is an exclusive matchmaking service that has the right to not approve your application or request at any time for any reason.

“On the way to one’s beloved, there are no hills.” Kenyan Proverb

WE NEED MORE LOVE IN OUR COMMUNITIES.
The Goal of African American Matchmaking:  To Help You Find a Loving Relationship!

African American Matchmaking is a company that promotes Black Love:
Advice, Inspiration and Matchmaking Services.