Trustworthiness

black-couple-hugging

Trustworthiness is being worthy of trust.  People can count on you to do your best, to keep your word, and to follow through on your commitments.  You do what you say you will do.  Trustworthiness is a key to success in anything you do.

You are practicing trustworthiness when you …

* Think before you  make a promise to be sure you can do it.

*  Take responsibility for remembering your commitments.

*  Keep your promises even when they become hard to do.

*  Abide by the rules even when no one is watching.

*  Let nothing stop you from keeping your word.

*  Do your best and finish what you start.

Affirmation:  I am trustworthy.  I keep my word.  I am worthy of the trust others place in me.

Source:  The Virtues Project and The Family Connection, U.S. Virgin Islands

We Need More Love in Our Communities: 10 Reasons

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  1. Love helps us heal.
  2. Love relieves stress.
  3. Love lowers your blood pressure.
  4. Love helps you be more giving to others.
  5. Giving love helps you receive love.
  6. Love boosts immunity to disease.
  7. Love cures love deprivation.
  8. Love boosts confidence and self-esteem.
  9. Love increases quality of life.
  10. Love helps you live longer.

Add your own reasons with your comments below:

Never Too Much

Luther Vandross

“Never Too Much” Performed by Luther Vandross

I can’t fool myself, I don’t want nobody else to ever love me
You are my shinin’ star, my guiding light, my love fantasy
There’s not a minute, hour, day or night that I don’t love you
You’re at the top of my list ’cause I’m always thinking of you
I still remember in the days when I was scared to touch you
How I spent my day dreaming, planning how to say I love you
You must have known that I had feelings deep enough to swim in
That’s when you opened up your heart and you told me to come in

Oh, my love
A thousand kisses from you is never too much
I just don’t wanna stop
Oh, my love
A million days in your arms is never too much
I just don’t wanna stop
Too much, never too much, never too much, never too much

Woke up today, looked at your picture just to get me started
I called you up, but you weren’t there and I was broken hearted
Hung up the phone, can’t be too late, the boss is so demanding
Opened the door up and to my surprise there you were standing
Well, who needs to go to work to hustle for another dollar
I’d rather be with you ’cause you make my heart scream and holler
Love is a gamble and I’m so glad that I’m winning
We’ve come a long way and yet this is only the beginning

Oh, my love
A thousand kisses from you is never too much
(Never too much, never too much, never too much)
I just don’t wanna stop
Oh, my love
A million days in your arms is never too much
(Never too much, never too much, never too much)
And I just don’t wanna stop
Oh, my love
A thousand kisses from you is never
(Never too much, never too much, never too much)
I just don’t wanna stop
Oh, my love
A million days in your arms is never too much

Pre-Order New Book

BBG_Man FRONT

The second book in the Black Girls Guide book series was recently announced: How to Find & Choose the Right Man. Released just in time for the international Valentine’s Day holiday, the book can be pre-ordered with free shipping. What is the new book about? According to author and African American Matchmaker, Angela D. Coleman:

“We are all looking for stable, loving, relationships. While there are some women who claim that they love the single life, we are all social beings in an interconnected universe who often crave the love of an understanding and committed partner. This guide will show you how to use the power of choice to find and choose a man who will love, respect and cherish you.”

For more information, visit www.blackgirlguide.com.

Top 10 Best Dating Tips

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  1. Date often.  Dating gives you and your person of interest the opportunity to get to know each other better.
  2. Don’t try to be perfect. Try to be your natural, best self.
  3. Date one-on-one.  Dating used to be the first step of a clearly defined, socially-created mating ritual.  Group dates are not really “dates” in the traditional sense.  You could easily get distracted and lose focus.
  4. Date with intention.  If you want a long-term relationship, date like you do.
  5. Do something funky and fun.  Try something new with someone new!
  6. Be open-minded, but keep your standards.  Just because someone wants to date you doesn’t mean you need to accept.  Think about it–you actually DO have better things to do.
  7. Don’t fall for words, look at actions.  Anyone can tell you who they are, but you be the judge.  Take your time.
  8. Focus on your date, not yourself.  Observe your date and let him/her ask questions.  Dialogue and conversation goes both ways.
  9. Avoid the appearance of desperation.  Predators can sense it and most people do not respect desperate people.
  10. Use creative visualization to date the wo/man you want. Call it the law of attraction, the Secret or something else-it works!

Does Denzel Have a Point?

Denzel Tweet Nov2012

I am glad that Denzel Washington spoke about what needs to be spoken about.  As an advocate and supporter of the Boys & Girls Clubs of America, he is also playing his role as part of the solution.

However, I can’t join the bandwagon and engage in male-bashing!  There are also too many gossiping, phony, broke, nonproductive women out here, too. And let’s not forget:   it is the women who are accepting these “men.”

Universal law and cosmic science dictates that for every good man, there is a good woman and for every bad man, there is a bad woman.  Unfortunately, the negative ones (male and female) get the most attention. Let’s change that.  I like uplifting brothers who are doing well.

I am also all for re-programming, starting with self.  From there, we can share our knowledge with others.  When we develop ourselves and mentor our youth, our sisters and brothers learn what is means to be man and woman in today’s society.  We are teach them how to value and love themselves, their family and their communities.

Powerful Black Love

Barak and Michelle Obama

No matter what your political views, President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama have given us a powerful vision of Black love unlike any other.

Many of us wonder about this seemingly perfect match, “How did they find each other?”  Most of us want the committed, healthy, loving relationship that they appear to have.

African American Matchmaking Manager, Angela D. Coleman, believes “the time is right for this vision to become a reality for more of us, to debunk the myths about Black relationships and increase our love awareness. Love is healing and we all need it. ”

Get Started.

The 80/20 Theory

Hasani Pettiford

 

 

We all know that we will not always get everything that we want in our partner.

TV One’s Love Addiction’s relationship expert Hasani Pettiford believes:

“Follow the 80/20 rule. If a guy has 80% of what your looking for, you must be flexible enough to work with the 20%.”

Do you agree?

Questions for a Matchmaker

AngelaDColeman2013African American Matchmaker,  Angela D. Coleman, answers your most pressing questions:

1. Do you guarantee that I will get X number of dates?
No one, not even a highly qualified and experienced matchmaker, can guarantee a satisfying relationship for you. So be wary of such claims because they are most likely disguised escort services or scams!  Some agencies guarantee you a certain number of introductions.  However, there is no guarantee about the quality of those interactions.

Your dating potential, ability to attract and maintain a relationship is primarily controlled by, guess who?  You!  However, with dating advice from African American Matchmaking, we can help you maximize your dating potential and “dateability.” 

But, let’s look at the big picture.  Dates are a means to an end.  As a goal itself, a date is short-term and with the wrong person, can be very uninspiring.  The goal of African American Matchmaking is to find you a loving partner, which is long-term, giving you an infinite number of superior dates for the rest of your life.

2. Are you married? If so, how long have you been married?
Love and marriage are mutually exclusive, which means one can, and often does, exist without the other.  Not everyone makes marriage an end goal and most people in the new millennium understand that years of marriage are not equated with happiness in either partner. 

Personally, I have consistently maintained loving, long-term, committed relationships throughout my adult life with periods of single life in-between; I have been engaged 3 times and married once.  I can identify with most African American Matchmaking members because I have experienced the highs and lows of relationships at various life stages:  I have been both happy and unsatisfied as a single, engaged, married, and divorced woman. Currently, I am happy in love with a wonderful man and have been for a while! *

Most of us have a learning curve when it comes to relationships and no one is perfect.  Everyone is different and a matchmaker’s responsibility is to find out what makes the client happy. The process is really about YOU, what you want and need.

3. What qualifies you and the other members of your team to take on matchmaking?
African American Matchmaking is new, but we are not new to the relationship business. Most of the matchmakers at African American Matchmaking have degrees in the social sciences and are highly experienced with consulting, counseling and assisting individuals and couples. 

For example, I have a degree in Psychology and African American Studies from Princeton University and Certification in African Holistic Medicine & Science, plus my Masters in Business Administration (MBA).  

With my extensive experience working with African American women and girls, I am an expert on current issues that impact them. What I hear most is a desire to be validated in a caring, loving relationship with a partner and the frustration that can result from failed attempts.  I have also heard similar frustrations from African American men.

A matchmaker helps you find love by providing personal matchmaking services to find someone who is compatible.  Matchmakers spend time and energy getting to know who you are and what you need.  They also help you to make good choices.  In addition, most matchmakers screen potential partners, provide dating and relationship advice to support your journey. 

Moving Forward
I love your questions!  President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama have given us a powerful vision of Black love unlike any other.  We have to educate ourselves about matchmaking because matchmaking used to be reserved only for the very wealthy and elite. 

We ALL deserve love in our lives.  When you become a member of African American Matchmaking, we become your ally in love.

Feel free to contact us again to see if we can help you:  contact@africanamericanmatchmaking.com.  You can Get Started now!

*I am writing a book about my various experiences with love, so keep posted!

 

How Matchmaking Helps You

Beautiful Black Couple by the Water

Most African American Matchmaking members lead very busy lives with successful careers, family and community activities.  This lifestyle allows time to date and be in a relationship, but does not leave a lot of time to search extensively for the right partner.  Meeting someone on your own is like looking for a needle in a haystack!  Some of our members join African American Matchmaking after getting very frustrated and disappointed in their attempts at online dating.

Some of our members have made bad decisions in the past regarding their romantic relationships and want to take back control of their decisions, plus have a trained professional who can support them in making new, better choices.  Having a matchmaking reduces the likelihood that you will get involved in a very risky relationship or be in an unfulfilling one with no growth and progress.

African American Matchmaking screens its members during an extensive application, assessment and review process so that all members feel safe, secure and comfortable meeting other members.  When there is a potential match, members are introduced by the matchmaker to each other first before they agree to talk or meet each other.  Date preparation, date follow-up and relationship coaching are included with African American Matchmaking services.

African American Matchmaking members are goal oriented and want to be as proactive as they can be to achieve their goal of developing a happy, healthy relationship.  Let’s get started!

Read more about Matchmaking Services.

What is a Matchmaker?

black couple at bar

When it comes to finding a partner, there may be a lot of fish in the sea.

But what if you don’t have time to swim with every school, or you live in over-fished waters? Or maybe you just have a hard time with the whole bait-and-tackle thing. In any case, catching the right one can be tough.

Enter the high-end, professional matchmaker. Matchmaking is an old profession with a decidedly modern twist: databases, ad campaigns and a culture of singles who don’t have built-in social networks.

The matchmaker will interview clients about their desires, screen potential partners according to a client’s specifications, make several introductions over a year or two, and fine-tune the search as more information comes to light about a client’s nature and preferences.

[Excerpt from article on CNN Money.com]

How a Matchmaker Helps You
Why Use a Matchmaker?  5 Good Reasons
Matchmaking Process

The Importance of Date Night

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Date night is a special time for just the two of you to enjoy each other.  Suggestion:  have a date night as least one night each week.  It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you commit to doing something TOGETHER!

Date night ideas:

  • Dinner
  • Movie
  • Drinks, snacks
  • Sporting event
  • Concert
  • Park
  • Exercise
  • Nightclub
  • Massages
  • Shopping
  • Ice cream/smoothies
  • Theater

Sexual Healing

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Those of us who have positive sexual experiences knows that sex is a healthy way of expressing love and affection.  It is that extra spark that keep things going!  When it’s good, sex also has restorative powers, stimulating your brain and body in unimaginable ways.   It can help you refocus your mind, increase your love energy, be more positive and feel great.

To maximize your sexual healing:

  • Sex in long-term, committed, loving relationships allows SAFETY in consistency, freedom of expression and connection.  Like other forms of healing, sex is mental, physical and spiritual.
  • Do something different.  Vary your lovemaking schedule and positions.
  • Don’t be afraid to be someone different.  Change your look with wigs, sexy lingerie and don’t be afraid to role play (think, night nurse, male stripper).
  • Set the mood with incense, wine and candles.  Everyone looks beautiful by smoky candlelight after a glass of good wine.
  • Keep it fresh by maintaining good hygiene.  You can use bathing as a prelude with the promise of more to come.

Are You “Damaged Goods”?

Give Yourself Time to Heal

To a large extent, most of us are “damaged goods,” meaning we had experiences that have scarred us and still affect us today.  Take time to heal.

When you work on your healing, you allow yourself to be an imperfectly glorious being.  This is the key to self-acceptance, which increases feelings of self-worth and self-esteem.  Of course, this makes you a better person, but also a better partner.

While we all have our issues, we continue to deserve love and respect.  There are plenty of loving unions that consist of people who are both consciously and consistently working on themselves.  If you want to attract a healthy and whole partner, you must be that which you seek.

Overcoming Daddy’s Dysfunction: 7 Tips

Daddy

Many of us have fathers who were simply not there in our lives.  We grew up with them physically outside of the home and/or mentally and emotionally unavailable.  This void has affected the way we respond to the opposite sex in our adult romantic relationships.

As adults, we have to let go and move on, recognizing our loss but not dwelling on it.  Specifically, here is what you can do:

  1. Know that you are not alone.
  2. See lack of fatherhood experiences are part of a systematic problem in American society, not just a problem in your family.  Your father was probably parented the same way.
  3. Recognize the way that slavery experiences affected the functioning (or lack of) of Black family units.
  4. Understand that our parents are imperfect human beings who often did the best that they can under stressful circumstances.
  5. Know what your needs are due to your experience of fatherlessness.  Are they reasonable?  Can you find what you need?
  6.  Be specific about your needs when you visualize your ideal partner, a man or woman who can naturally and effortlessly fulfill them.
  7. If your issues are still unresolved, find support.  If needed, seek professional help from a counselor or therapist.

The Art of Kissing: 5 Tips

Is kissing a lost art?  Common in the courtship phase of dating, kissing helps you bond with your mate and has long been seen as a warm-up activity for sexual intercourse.  Women enjoy kissing more than men, right?

Not true! Researchers from The Kinsey Institute in Bloomington, Indiana were surprised to find that kissing, cuddling and caressing are more important to men than they are to women.

A good relationship is the best foundation for a good kiss. Sharing personal space, physical closeness, connection…   Good kissing can make it happen for both of you.

5 Tips on What to Do:

1. Have loving feelings toward the person you kiss. 
Hint:  if you don’t have loving feelings, don’t kiss!

2. Have fresh breath. 
Hint:  brush your teeth, use mouthwash, use breath mints, chew peppermint or spearmint gum.

3. Make sure your lips are soft.
Hint:  licking your lips does not make them soft.  Use a lip moisterizer.

4. Relax your lips as your lips prepare to meet his/hers. 
Hint:  lips should be parted slightly, not open.

5. Let your lips touch softly to meet your partner’s lips, gently at first, then take it from there.
Hint:  Pay attention to what your partner responds to and keep it hot!

How Being Picky Can Leave You Lonely

Some of us are so particular (yes, picky!) about whom we date and spend quality time with. Of course, we should be.  No one should settle. But when is being picky just too much?

When being picky interferes with our ability to find dates and committed, long-lasting partners, it can lead to frustration, loneliness and resentment.  Maybe we have to re-examine our priorities by asking ourselves, “Are you setting yourself up to be lonely by having impossibly perfect standards for your dream partner?”

Psychologist Jeremy S. Nicholson believes:

“Put simply, trying to find the absolute ‘best’ in love is an impossible task. There are simply too many people. No matter how much information and experience you obtain, there will always be somebody ‘better’ on some level out there. So, people spend their lives looking for that perfect someone, never find them…”

We know that no one is perfect, not even you! Instead of trying to find a perfect partner, maybe you can focus on finding a satisfying partner who is PERFECT FOR YOU.

A matchmaker can help.  Why Use a Matchmaker?  5 Good Reasons

I Want to Know What Love Is

I Want To Know What Love Is

                     Foreigner                      

Songwriters: PARKS, ALEX / TZUKE, JUDIE / KEARNS, GRAHAM PATRICK

I gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when I’m older
Aaaah woah-ah-aah

Now this mountain I must climb
Feels like a world upon my shoulders
And through the clouds I see love shine
It keeps me warm as life grows colder

In my life there’s been heartache and pain
I don’t know if I can face it again
Can’t stop now, I’ve traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
Aaaah woah-oh-ooh

I’m gonna take a little time
A little time to look around me, oooh ooh-ooh ooh-ooh oooh
I’ve got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me

In my life there’s been heartache and pain
I don’t know if I can face it again
I can’t stop now, I’ve traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
I wanna feel what love is
I know you can show me
I wanna know what love is
I want you to show me
And I wanna feel, I want to feel what love is
And I know, I know you can show me

Let’s talk about love
(I wanna know what love is) the love that you feel inside
(I want you to show me) I’m feeling so much love
(I wanna feel what love is) no, you just cannot hide
(I know you can show me) yeah, woah-oh-ooh
I wanna know what love is, let’s talk about love
(I want you to show me) I wanna feel it too
(I wanna feel what love is) I wanna feel it too
And I know, and I know, I know you can show me
Show me what is real, woah (woah), yeah I know
(I wanna know what love is) hey I wanna know what love
(I want you to show me), I wanna know, I wanna know, want know
(I wanna feel what love is), hey I wanna feel, love
I know you can show me, yeah

A Satisfying Partner

Are you still looking for that perfect someone?  What makes a partner “satisfying” vs. “perfect?”

Psychologist Jeremy S. Nicholson believes:

“Having a satisfying relationship doesn’t require finding the perfect partner. All it takes is using the right strategy to choose a good one. That starts with deciding on the few, specific things that you really need a partner to possess. Look for those features and be happy with the first person who has them all. Don’t become a perfectionist looking for better. Don’t worry about what your friends have. Just enjoy the fact that you have somebody who has what you need to be satisfied – and ignore the rest.”

Source:  http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-attraction-doctor/201209/maximize-your-chances-picking-satisfying-partner

Why Use a Matchmaker? 5 Good Reasons


Matchmaking is a fairly new phenomenon for a lot of people.
Thinking about using one?  Here are 5 good reasons:

    1. Matchmakers provide personal services that other agencies, including online dating sites, cannot.  They get to know you as a person and are working for your interests.  That is why matchmakers typically only have a small number of clients.

    1. Matchmakers provide great advice as they help you find a match.  They assist you in finding and choosing among available options, plus provide helpful information about dating and managing your relationship.  In fact, your matchmaker may become your best friend!

    1. Matchmakers are affordable.  Matchmaking used to occur only within wealthy families.  Now, the benefits of matchmaking are more accessible to those of us who are willing to invest a relatively small amount.

    1. Matchmakers are open-minded. Unlike your family or friends, they don’t judge you, your preferences or your lifestyle.  They are just looking for someone who is right for you.

    1. Matchmakers are professional.  They make a living find love for people.  Your success is their success.  It is a win-win situation for all!