Questions for a Matchmaker

AngelaDColeman2013African American Matchmaker,  Angela D. Coleman, answers your most pressing questions:

1. Do you guarantee that I will get X number of dates?
No one, not even a highly qualified and experienced matchmaker, can guarantee a satisfying relationship for you. So be wary of such claims because they are most likely disguised escort services or scams!  Some agencies guarantee you a certain number of introductions.  However, there is no guarantee about the quality of those interactions.

Your dating potential, ability to attract and maintain a relationship is primarily controlled by, guess who?  You!  However, with dating advice from African American Matchmaking, we can help you maximize your dating potential and “dateability.” 

But, let’s look at the big picture.  Dates are a means to an end.  As a goal itself, a date is short-term and with the wrong person, can be very uninspiring.  The goal of African American Matchmaking is to find you a loving partner, which is long-term, giving you an infinite number of superior dates for the rest of your life.

2. Are you married? If so, how long have you been married?
Love and marriage are mutually exclusive, which means one can, and often does, exist without the other.  Not everyone makes marriage an end goal and most people in the new millennium understand that years of marriage are not equated with happiness in either partner. 

Personally, I have consistently maintained loving, long-term, committed relationships throughout my adult life with periods of single life in-between; I have been engaged 3 times and married once.  I can identify with most African American Matchmaking members because I have experienced the highs and lows of relationships at various life stages:  I have been both happy and unsatisfied as a single, engaged, married, and divorced woman. Currently, I am happy in love with a wonderful man and have been for a while! *

Most of us have a learning curve when it comes to relationships and no one is perfect.  Everyone is different and a matchmaker’s responsibility is to find out what makes the client happy. The process is really about YOU, what you want and need.

3. What qualifies you and the other members of your team to take on matchmaking?
African American Matchmaking is new, but we are not new to the relationship business. Most of the matchmakers at African American Matchmaking have degrees in the social sciences and are highly experienced with consulting, counseling and assisting individuals and couples. 

For example, I have a degree in Psychology and African American Studies from Princeton University and Certification in African Holistic Medicine & Science, plus my Masters in Business Administration (MBA).  

With my extensive experience working with African American women and girls, I am an expert on current issues that impact them. What I hear most is a desire to be validated in a caring, loving relationship with a partner and the frustration that can result from failed attempts.  I have also heard similar frustrations from African American men.

A matchmaker helps you find love by providing personal matchmaking services to find someone who is compatible.  Matchmakers spend time and energy getting to know who you are and what you need.  They also help you to make good choices.  In addition, most matchmakers screen potential partners, provide dating and relationship advice to support your journey. 

Moving Forward
I love your questions!  President Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama have given us a powerful vision of Black love unlike any other.  We have to educate ourselves about matchmaking because matchmaking used to be reserved only for the very wealthy and elite. 

We ALL deserve love in our lives.  When you become a member of African American Matchmaking, we become your ally in love.

Feel free to contact us again to see if we can help you:  contact@africanamericanmatchmaking.com.  You can Get Started now!

*I am writing a book about my various experiences with love, so keep posted!

 

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How Matchmaking Helps You

Beautiful Black Couple by the Water

Most African American Matchmaking members lead very busy lives with successful careers, family and community activities.  This lifestyle allows time to date and be in a relationship, but does not leave a lot of time to search extensively for the right partner.  Meeting someone on your own is like looking for a needle in a haystack!  Some of our members join African American Matchmaking after getting very frustrated and disappointed in their attempts at online dating.

Some of our members have made bad decisions in the past regarding their romantic relationships and want to take back control of their decisions, plus have a trained professional who can support them in making new, better choices.  Having a matchmaking reduces the likelihood that you will get involved in a very risky relationship or be in an unfulfilling one with no growth and progress.

African American Matchmaking screens its members during an extensive application, assessment and review process so that all members feel safe, secure and comfortable meeting other members.  When there is a potential match, members are introduced by the matchmaker to each other first before they agree to talk or meet each other.  Date preparation, date follow-up and relationship coaching are included with African American Matchmaking services.

African American Matchmaking members are goal oriented and want to be as proactive as they can be to achieve their goal of developing a happy, healthy relationship.  Let’s get started!

Read more about Matchmaking Services.

What is a Matchmaker?

black couple at bar

When it comes to finding a partner, there may be a lot of fish in the sea.

But what if you don’t have time to swim with every school, or you live in over-fished waters? Or maybe you just have a hard time with the whole bait-and-tackle thing. In any case, catching the right one can be tough.

Enter the high-end, professional matchmaker. Matchmaking is an old profession with a decidedly modern twist: databases, ad campaigns and a culture of singles who don’t have built-in social networks.

The matchmaker will interview clients about their desires, screen potential partners according to a client’s specifications, make several introductions over a year or two, and fine-tune the search as more information comes to light about a client’s nature and preferences.

[Excerpt from article on CNN Money.com]

How a Matchmaker Helps You
Why Use a Matchmaker?  5 Good Reasons
Matchmaking Process

The Importance of Date Night

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Date night is a special time for just the two of you to enjoy each other.  Suggestion:  have a date night as least one night each week.  It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you commit to doing something TOGETHER!

Date night ideas:

  • Dinner
  • Movie
  • Drinks, snacks
  • Sporting event
  • Concert
  • Park
  • Exercise
  • Nightclub
  • Massages
  • Shopping
  • Ice cream/smoothies
  • Theater

Are You “Damaged Goods”?

Give Yourself Time to Heal

To a large extent, most of us are “damaged goods,” meaning we had experiences that have scarred us and still affect us today.  Take time to heal.

When you work on your healing, you allow yourself to be an imperfectly glorious being.  This is the key to self-acceptance, which increases feelings of self-worth and self-esteem.  Of course, this makes you a better person, but also a better partner.

While we all have our issues, we continue to deserve love and respect.  There are plenty of loving unions that consist of people who are both consciously and consistently working on themselves.  If you want to attract a healthy and whole partner, you must be that which you seek.

Overcoming Daddy’s Dysfunction: 7 Tips

Daddy

Many of us have fathers who were simply not there in our lives.  We grew up with them physically outside of the home and/or mentally and emotionally unavailable.  This void has affected the way we respond to the opposite sex in our adult romantic relationships.

As adults, we have to let go and move on, recognizing our loss but not dwelling on it.  Specifically, here is what you can do:

  1. Know that you are not alone.
  2. See lack of fatherhood experiences are part of a systematic problem in American society, not just a problem in your family.  Your father was probably parented the same way.
  3. Recognize the way that slavery experiences affected the functioning (or lack of) of Black family units.
  4. Understand that our parents are imperfect human beings who often did the best that they can under stressful circumstances.
  5. Know what your needs are due to your experience of fatherlessness.  Are they reasonable?  Can you find what you need?
  6.  Be specific about your needs when you visualize your ideal partner, a man or woman who can naturally and effortlessly fulfill them.
  7. If your issues are still unresolved, find support.  If needed, seek professional help from a counselor or therapist.

The Art of Kissing: 5 Tips

Is kissing a lost art?  Common in the courtship phase of dating, kissing helps you bond with your mate and has long been seen as a warm-up activity for sexual intercourse.  Women enjoy kissing more than men, right?

Not true! Researchers from The Kinsey Institute in Bloomington, Indiana were surprised to find that kissing, cuddling and caressing are more important to men than they are to women.

A good relationship is the best foundation for a good kiss. Sharing personal space, physical closeness, connection…   Good kissing can make it happen for both of you.

5 Tips on What to Do:

1. Have loving feelings toward the person you kiss. 
Hint:  if you don’t have loving feelings, don’t kiss!

2. Have fresh breath. 
Hint:  brush your teeth, use mouthwash, use breath mints, chew peppermint or spearmint gum.

3. Make sure your lips are soft.
Hint:  licking your lips does not make them soft.  Use a lip moisterizer.

4. Relax your lips as your lips prepare to meet his/hers. 
Hint:  lips should be parted slightly, not open.

5. Let your lips touch softly to meet your partner’s lips, gently at first, then take it from there.
Hint:  Pay attention to what your partner responds to and keep it hot!