The Importance of Date Night

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Date night is a special time for just the two of you to enjoy each other.  Suggestion:  have a date night as least one night each week.  It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as you commit to doing something TOGETHER!

Date night ideas:

  • Dinner
  • Movie
  • Drinks, snacks
  • Sporting event
  • Concert
  • Park
  • Exercise
  • Nightclub
  • Massages
  • Shopping
  • Ice cream/smoothies
  • Theater

Are You “Damaged Goods”?

Give Yourself Time to Heal

To a large extent, most of us are “damaged goods,” meaning we had experiences that have scarred us and still affect us today.  Take time to heal.

When you work on your healing, you allow yourself to be an imperfectly glorious being.  This is the key to self-acceptance, which increases feelings of self-worth and self-esteem.  Of course, this makes you a better person, but also a better partner.

While we all have our issues, we continue to deserve love and respect.  There are plenty of loving unions that consist of people who are both consciously and consistently working on themselves.  If you want to attract a healthy and whole partner, you must be that which you seek.

Overcoming Daddy’s Dysfunction: 7 Tips

Daddy

Many of us have fathers who were simply not there in our lives.  We grew up with them physically outside of the home and/or mentally and emotionally unavailable.  This void has affected the way we respond to the opposite sex in our adult romantic relationships.

As adults, we have to let go and move on, recognizing our loss but not dwelling on it.  Specifically, here is what you can do:

  1. Know that you are not alone.
  2. See lack of fatherhood experiences are part of a systematic problem in American society, not just a problem in your family.  Your father was probably parented the same way.
  3. Recognize the way that slavery experiences affected the functioning (or lack of) of Black family units.
  4. Understand that our parents are imperfect human beings who often did the best that they can under stressful circumstances.
  5. Know what your needs are due to your experience of fatherlessness.  Are they reasonable?  Can you find what you need?
  6.  Be specific about your needs when you visualize your ideal partner, a man or woman who can naturally and effortlessly fulfill them.
  7. If your issues are still unresolved, find support.  If needed, seek professional help from a counselor or therapist.

The Art of Kissing: 5 Tips

Is kissing a lost art?  Common in the courtship phase of dating, kissing helps you bond with your mate and has long been seen as a warm-up activity for sexual intercourse.  Women enjoy kissing more than men, right?

Not true! Researchers from The Kinsey Institute in Bloomington, Indiana were surprised to find that kissing, cuddling and caressing are more important to men than they are to women.

A good relationship is the best foundation for a good kiss. Sharing personal space, physical closeness, connection…   Good kissing can make it happen for both of you.

5 Tips on What to Do:

1. Have loving feelings toward the person you kiss. 
Hint:  if you don’t have loving feelings, don’t kiss!

2. Have fresh breath. 
Hint:  brush your teeth, use mouthwash, use breath mints, chew peppermint or spearmint gum.

3. Make sure your lips are soft.
Hint:  licking your lips does not make them soft.  Use a lip moisterizer.

4. Relax your lips as your lips prepare to meet his/hers. 
Hint:  lips should be parted slightly, not open.

5. Let your lips touch softly to meet your partner’s lips, gently at first, then take it from there.
Hint:  Pay attention to what your partner responds to and keep it hot!

How Being Picky Can Leave You Lonely

Some of us are so particular (yes, picky!) about whom we date and spend quality time with. Of course, we should be.  No one should settle. But when is being picky just too much?

When being picky interferes with our ability to find dates and committed, long-lasting partners, it can lead to frustration, loneliness and resentment.  Maybe we have to re-examine our priorities by asking ourselves, “Are you setting yourself up to be lonely by having impossibly perfect standards for your dream partner?”

Psychologist Jeremy S. Nicholson believes:

“Put simply, trying to find the absolute ‘best’ in love is an impossible task. There are simply too many people. No matter how much information and experience you obtain, there will always be somebody ‘better’ on some level out there. So, people spend their lives looking for that perfect someone, never find them…”

We know that no one is perfect, not even you! Instead of trying to find a perfect partner, maybe you can focus on finding a satisfying partner who is PERFECT FOR YOU.

A matchmaker can help.  Why Use a Matchmaker?  5 Good Reasons