Glow of Love

loving_black_couple sunset

Never lonely with you only, time will always be our friend
Reaching far to find a star, our destiny is Heaven sent
Making known this loving tone, we’ll never part, the two of us
We’ll always reminisce, kissing in the glow of love…

See the Video:  Change featuring Luther Vandross

Love, Peace & Soul

soul_train with Donsoul-train-crowd

soul-train-dancers
Don Cornelius gave us Soul Train, a musical showcase that promoted Black culture, dance, and style from 1971 to 2006. In its 35-year history, the show primarily featured performances by R&B, soul, and hip hop artists. The Soul Train line is still an active phenomenon.  We rarely see African Americans dancing and enjoying themselves like this on public television today.  Is there a modern Soul Train equivalent?  Don Conrnelius ended each Soul Train show wishing us all:

“Love, Peace, and Soul.”

Dramatic Events & Unbelievable Changes Of The Year 2013

BEautiful Forest Sky

Sofia Siberia says:

The things we’ve been so painfully going through for the past few months were all the effects of a massive karmic changeover of the year 2013.

The History is now.

Look back at your life and lives of the people you know – how many speedy changes and incredible events had happened just recently.

Striking number of relationships and marriages split.

Couples suddenly fell out of love with one another, as if woke up and found it all worked out.

We are no more interested in drama/manipulative affairs and are letting them go with no regret.

Why so many marriages ended and people in relationships had a sudden change of heart?

That’s because those were some karmic affairs where you were brought together not to live happily ever after, but to return each other something you owed from the past.

The person you thought you loved was just your karmic decoy, we all have to go through involvements of that kind at some point of our life.

And now that we settled accounts, it’s time to ascend to the newer kind of relations – of no drama, no emotional manipulation and no cliché expectations or power struggles.

Now we are shifting towards the trend of finding our true spiritual partners and the interest in Twin Flames reunion is intense.

In the new era of spiritual matchmaking there are no more ego things we’ll feel like proving to each other. Now we can actually feel our soulmates keener – be in a couple or not, and still love and help each other evolve and not bring each other down.

Read more…

Trustworthiness

black-couple-hugging

Trustworthiness is being worthy of trust.  People can count on you to do your best, to keep your word, and to follow through on your commitments.  You do what you say you will do.  Trustworthiness is a key to success in anything you do.

You are practicing trustworthiness when you …

* Think before you  make a promise to be sure you can do it.

*  Take responsibility for remembering your commitments.

*  Keep your promises even when they become hard to do.

*  Abide by the rules even when no one is watching.

*  Let nothing stop you from keeping your word.

*  Do your best and finish what you start.

Affirmation:  I am trustworthy.  I keep my word.  I am worthy of the trust others place in me.

Source:  The Virtues Project and The Family Connection, U.S. Virgin Islands

We Need More Love in Our Communities: 10 Reasons

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  1. Love helps us heal.
  2. Love relieves stress.
  3. Love lowers your blood pressure.
  4. Love helps you be more giving to others.
  5. Giving love helps you receive love.
  6. Love boosts immunity to disease.
  7. Love cures love deprivation.
  8. Love boosts confidence and self-esteem.
  9. Love increases quality of life.
  10. Love helps you live longer.

Add your own reasons with your comments below:

I Ain’t Movin’

Desree+PNG

I Ain’t Movin’
Performed by Des’ree

Love is my passion, love is my friend
Love’s universal, love never ends
Then why am I faced with so much anger, so my pain?
Why should I hide? Why should I be ashamed?
Time’s much too short to be livin’, somebody else’s life
I walk with dignity, I step with pride
‘Cause I ain’t moving from my face, from my race, from my history
I ain’t movin’ from my love, my peaceful dove, means too much to me
And loving self can be so hard, honesty can be demanding
Learn to love yourself it’s a great, great feeling
When you’re down baby, I will set you free
I will be your remedy, I will be your tree
A wise man is clever, seldom ever speaks a word
A foolish man keeps talking, never is he heard, no no no no
Time’s much too short to be livin’, somebody else’s life
I walk with dignity, I step with pride
‘Cause I ain’t moving from my face, from my race, from my history
I ain’t movin’ from my love, my peaceful dove, means too much to me
And loving self can be so hard, honesty can be demanding
Learn to love yourself it’s a great, great feeling
Time’s too lonely, too lonely without words
Future voices need to be heard
Eyebrows are always older than the beards
Momma said be brave, you’ve nothing to fear and I, ooh
Time’s much too short to be livin’, somebody else’s life
I walk with dignity, I step with pride
‘Cause I ain’t moving from my face, from my race, from my history
I ain’t movin’ from my love, my peaceful dove, means too much to me
And loving self can be so hard, honesty can be demanding
Learn to love yourself it’s a great, great feeling
‘Cause I ain’t moving from my face, from my race, from my history
I ain’t movin’ from my love, my peaceful dove, means too much to me
And loving self can be so hard, honesty can be demanding
If we learn to love ourself we’ll have great, great feeling
‘Cause I ain’t movin’, I’ve been here long before
I ain’t movin’ ’cause I want more
I ain’t movin’, got my feet on the ground, hey
As far as I’m concerned, love should win the rounds, oh yeah

Consideration is a Virtue

Couple in Field

Consideration is being thoughtful of other people and their feelings.  You consider how your actions affect them.  You pay careful attention to what others like and don’t like, and do things that give them happiness.

You are practicing consideration when you …

*  Respect other people’s needs and feelings

*  Consider others’ needs as important as your own

*  Stop and think how your actions will affect people

*  Put yourself in other people’s shoes

* Give tender attention

*  Think of little things to bring others happiness

Source:  The Virtues Project and The Family Connection, U.S. Virgin Islands

5 Tips For Creating Romance

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Most of us are blessed with all 5 of our senses.  Some of us even have 6!  (The sixth sense is known as an intuitive and spiritual vision or third eye.)  By simply catering to our 5 senses, we can create a night of romance and love!

  1. SMELL.  Use scents that evoke sensuality, such as jasmine, honeysuckle, and vanilla.  This can be done with incense, scented candles, body lotion, oils, cologne, and perfume.
  2. TOUCH.  Give each other massages.  It does not have to be a full-body rub-down.  It can be a foot massage, neck rub, or back massage.
  3. TASTE.   Have snacks or hors d ourves such as fruit, cheese and crackers.  You can also have wine or cocktails.
  4. HEARING.  Play soft music or even nature sounds such as a rainshower or ocean waves.
  5. SIGHT.   Keep ALL of it visually appealing:  pretty bottles, plates, glassware, clothes, food displays, and of course, yourself!

Where Are All the Good Single Black Men?

black-men

At African American Matchmaking, we don’t buy into the commonly held notion that there are no good Black men.  But just like a good Black woman is hard to find, good Black men can be hard to find, too.

Statistics are arguable a source of enlightenment.  Rather than react in fear, we can respond with strategy.  We have to be smart and being smart means being selective, screening appropriately to find a partner who is right for you.

From Best Black Dating Sites (reprinted with permission):
“Where are all the good single Black men?” can be frequently heard throughout the dating scene.  At BestBlackDatingSites.org, we decided to investigate this by the numbers and put into perspective how many quality Black male singles there really are for Black single women.

Let’s start by looking at some common criteria single Black women are looking for in a Black man, and how many Black men qualify based on those requirements.

I WANT A BLACK MAN
According to the U.S. Census Bureau, the ratio of women to men in the U.S. is about 145 million women to roughly 139 million men.  In more manageable terms—for every 100 sistas, there are about 87 brothas.

I WANT A BLACK MAN WHO DOESN’T LIKE OTHER MEN
4% of men are exclusively homosexual, compared to 2% of women.  Thus, there are NET 2% fewer straight men for every straight woman due to sexual preference.  Interesting fact:  When surveyed, the average American believes 20% of Americans are homosexuals.  Actual studies put the range between 3-12%.

I WANT A MAN WHO IS INTERESTED IN ME, A BLACK WOMAN
70% of interracial relationships are comprised of Black men dating White women.  8.5% of Black men are married to White women.

I WANT A MAN WHO HAS NOT BEEN IN JAIL
Read more at the source…

Conference on African American Community Family & Marriage in NC

 OORadio conference_community_family_marriage

 In an effort to continue forging the path to identify solutions to problems that effect African American communities, families and marriages, OORadio (www.ooradio.com) will host the 2013 Conference on Community Family & Marriage at the Metropolitan Room, 109 Green Street in Fayetteville, NC 28311 on April 5-7, 2013. This three day gathering is designed to serve as a platform for healing and developing an avenue to usher in collective resolutions and healthy dialogue between sexes, generations and cultures.

OORadio 2013 CCFM nEW FLIER

Conference admission includes a Meet & Greet, 1 ½ days of workshops, panels and discussions, rituals, entertainment, 2 lunches and the African Glitz and Glamor Gala: An evening of elegance which will include dinner, entertainment and dancing. For information about the 2013 Conference on Community Family & Marriage please visit www.ooradio.com or call 410-65RADIO (410-657-2346).

Be Happy

maryjblige

Be Happy
Performed by Mary J. Blige

[Verse 1]

How can I love somebody else
If I can’t love myself enough to know
When it’s time,
Time to let go
Sing

[Chorus]
All I really want
is to be happy
And to find a love that’s mine
It would be so sweet

[Repeat]

[Verse 2]
I ask for the sign
From the sweet Lord above
I know the answer is in front of me
But when you think you’re in love
You only see what you wanna see

And all I see is me for you
And you for me
Oh I cannot hide the way I feel inside
(No I don’t know why)
I don’t know why but every day I wanna cry
(Every day I wanna cry)
If I give you one more try
To these rules, will you abide
And if I mean anything to you
Would it make everything all right

[Chorus]

I just wanna be so, so, happy
But the answer lies in me
I do believe
That we can be happy
I said I wanna be happy, yeah

[Verse 3]

Life is too short
To be tryin to play some games
Now take some time and think about
If it’s really worth losing me
Why must it be this way
Why do you have to play with my mind
All the time
Help me sing it
All I really want is for me to be happy
Ohhh, just help me sing it
All I really want is for me to be happy
Yeahhhhhhh
ll I really want is for me to be happy
Oh, you know I wanna be happy, yeah, yeah

[repeat through chorus]

I don’t wanna have to worry about nothin no more
Said I wanna be, said I wanna be, said I wanna be

[Chorus]

Love Improves Your Health

couple walking on beachLove is the foundation of all health, whether it is love for self, family, friends, or your significant other.  If you are unhealthy, look at the love in your life.  Or more specifically, look at the lack of love in your life.   Just as love can uplift us and keep us healthy, love deficiencies can lead to negative health outcomes.

How can love make us healthy?  ABC News reported on a study that shows us our relationships with a spouse or partner is linked with a drop in blood pressure.   Another study, reported by the same news agency, reported a link between being in an intimate relationship and living a longer life.  Research also shows us that a healthy relationship can promote longevity, overall physical and mental health, and faster recovery from injury and illness.

With the prevalence of hypertension and other health concerns leading to shortened life spans in African American communities around the country, love is a good thing!

To go deeper, watch the episode of “Super Brain” on The Chopra Well YouTube channel to see Deepak Chopra and neuroscientist Rudy Tanzi discuss the impact of love on the brain.

Dear Black Man, I Want AND Need You…

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Dear Black Man,

Don’t you know that I want to love you. I want my love to be your love. I know that they tell me that there aren’t enough of you out there for me to love, but that’s never been my vision nor reality. I know that they tell me you don’t have the education that I have, but I know to the contrary.

For years I have told you, that “I got this. I don’t need your help.” But today, with my advance degrees, robust portfolio and home full of the best furnishings, I realize, Black Man, I need you.

No, I am not afraid to say this. I want and need you. I need you like the ocean needs its beaches. Miles of sand that lead love hand in hand to the water. Water, that we need to sustain life.

I need you in my life, I need you in my laughter. I want you to protect me from my fears. My Daddy wants to still protect me, but he also knows that this is your job to do…he’s told me this before.

Now they want to tell me that it’s partly my fault. They tell me that I ask far too much of my Black Man. “Why must this Man that you ask for have education?” and “Why must this Black Man have ambition and drive?” This is what they inquire. They ask me these questions as if you don’t exist. As if you are extinct. But I know to the contrary.

Not only do you exist, you flourish. Your ability to grow and achieve inspite of your conditions is your best attribute. Yes, I want the best and greatest from you, because I know that within you, it exists.

Black Man, I love you. I want you. I need you. But do know this Black Man, I’ll expect nothing but the best from you. You shouldn’t want it any other way. I love you, but I love me too. I’ll never succumb my condition for yours. Why would you want me to?

Come to me with your frustrations of the day, I’ll ease them away with the softest touch to your brow; the most tender touch, indeed. I’ll massage the evening away in your shoulders. And I’ll be quiet tonight, because I know you need touch not words. I’ll let that project that you’ve been promising to get to, wait until next week. I’ll contain my fright when I see the “Daddy-long-legs” in the basement; because I know that tonight is not the night. Your worries have been intense today, and because of that, the centipede gets a couple more days of freedom and life.

I am here for you on your WORST days, but promise me, that you won’t leave me on your BEST ones. If we can make that pact with each other, I guarantee you that you have a deal. I will love you Black Man, no matter what they tell me. I know what I want and need. I want and need, you, Black Man- contrary to popular belief.

With Love,
The Black Woman
Richelle R. Ransom

[Original Post:  http://www.alumniroundup.com/blogs/richelle/dear-black-man-i-want-and-need-you/]

After the Argument: 5 Tips for Recovery

You and I are going to be ok

Too often, a disagreement becomes an argument as communication breaks down among couples and each tries (in their own way) to get their points across to the other. The irony is that the message itself is usually one that the other needs to hear.  Instead, in an argument, the message gets lost in its often dramatic, emotional translation, thus contributing to unsuccessful communication and resolution.   It’s okay!

Most communication breakdowns among loving couples can be fixed.  The key is recovery.  A couple can recover from an argument by going back, correcting what went wrong, and using the argument as a learning experience that makes the relationship better for the future.

This means that each of you has to be willing to:

  1. Take responsibility and acknowledge what YOU could have done better in your communication.
  2. Let go of your negative response when you didn’t get what you want from your partner.
  3. Communicate better by trying again and asking for what you need.
  4. Kiss and makeup with a renewed understanding of your partner and what s/he needs.
  5. File it in your memory bank to avoid repeating this behavior, thereby making it a poor communication pattern in your relationship.

Keep moving forward, don’t go backwards. When you embrace this opportunity for positive change, truly move on, and recover from an argument, you be able to minimize future conflicts in communication with your partner.

Love Yourself

Heart Love
“The secret of attraction is to love yourself. Attractive people judge neither themselves nor others. They are open to gestures of love. They think about love, and express their love in every action. They know that love is not a mere sentiment, but the ultimate truth at the heart of the universe.” – Deepak Chopra